Another year.

An update…I’m now a 19 year old girl who enjoys the golden prairies and wild winds of the West!

Something fun I did yesterday, starting about ten minutes till March 18 officially began, was to quickly type out the highlights of the last year. I included new friends, changes in relationships, vacations, joys, sorrows, and other significant happenings. It was fun to see, in a nutshell, all the different things I’ve done and experienced this past year, all the things I learned and the ways God has blessed me. Some of those memories were happy, and some considerably less so (to put it mildly). But all of our experiences and memories help shape what we are. God can use those things to teach us, to bless us, to encourage us, and always, always, to shape us into the person He wants us to be.

Don’t wait for your next birthday! Go ahead and start a list now. Pick some significant point in your life (e.g. a birthday) and start recalling! I’d recommend keeping a diary, too. There are so many little details, stories, thoughts, ideas, etc which we forget within an hour of thinking or experiencing them!  I’m the kind of person who likes to have the whole story with all the little details….especially if it’s my story!  Times when I go back over my diary I’ll find spots which make me laugh–”Holy cow! Did I actually do that?” There are spots that make me thoughtful, sad, or angry…but I’m so happy that I wrote them down.

Keep an on-the-computer diary if  hand writing takes too long (and it really does). Even if it is a couple lines describing the kind of day you had, or thoughts that came to you, believe me, you won’t regret having recorded it.

Word of caution: Don’t leave it open or where somebody could read it. Then you probably will regret it!

Happy writing, and enjoy your run over memory lane!

Come Now

It was a soft, dappled gray sky when I woke up. And there was trouble as soon as I woke up. Not that it ought to have been any different….not that I deserved any better. It seemed the day must begin with tension and aggravated nerves all around. And it did. And I wondered if new mercies every morning are canceled out if one stays awake past twelve. Breakfast. Nothing sounded good. I did not feel hungry. But I sat down and ate anyway. A CD playing in the living room. We always have CDs playing—whether music or sermons, stories or old radio broadcasts. I find myself wondering lately why. Could it be to drown out the screams of dying dreams, the whispers of discouragement and guilt, the pain of cloudy days…the voice of God?
This CD was an audio book written by a pastor. He was telling the story of the prodigal son. A thought comes to my mind. Not a brand new thought either. Just a thought— like a friend I have not seen in years, knocking on the door of my mind.
The prodigal was a son….not a stranger, not somebody who never knew the father. He was a son. He left. But the father was looking for him to come home. He was waiting, watching. When he saw his son, he ran. He RAN. He RAN to see his son, the one who had left him, the one who had been stupid. He actually RAN to meet him…and he kissed him and embraced him and brought him home again.

Something in me stirred. Oh God, I prayed, silently. Please take me back. Can’t I just feel Your love, Your love for one moment?
Lately I couldn’t feel it. I found myself wondering who God was. What was He thinking of me? Would He take me back? I felt like a puppy who’d escaped from the master’s kennels. Upon re-approaching the fence, I can see the other puppies, joyful and exuberant in the love of their master, receiving blessings from his hand, and doing anything they could to please him. But I am the puppy who ran out and away. I bit and snapped at that hand that had never done me any wrong. I would run and come back and run and come back. I seemed to be different from the other puppies even when I was on the right side of the fence.
I look through the chain-link wire at the master’s eyes.
And here is the question….what do I see there? And is what I see there keeping me from seeing what is really there? Or maybe I’ve blown my chances, and there isn’t anything there at all….
I want to cry. The Master doesn’t deserve this. I do. But I want to be back where I can be safe, away from wild wolves and swirling, disorienting whirlwinds. I just want Him to love me and keep me safe from the guilt, the hurts, the overwhelming floods, the enemies, the hardships… and from myself.
I go for a bath, and resolve to use the time to ask for a clean heart and a right, renewed spirit. But spinnings of stories,ramblings of imaginary adventures in which I am the glowing heroine, flood my thoughts in a hundred different directions.

Stop! This is ridiculous! It isn’t even as though I am focusing on one story-line long enough to make any good of it!

Messy mind, messy house. A couple of hours in my gray room, folding clothes, turning them over, stashing them away into drawers entirely too small to fit the masses of woven threads properly.
Finally the chaos is reasonably stashed away. Hidden from the eyes of others. Just waiting for me to be alone so that it can spring out again.
I emerge into the outside world—outside my room, that is– and the hurts start to explode in every direction. YOUSHOULDHAVEDONEITSOONERWHATWILLTHEYTHINKOFYOUITISN’TFAIRTHAT

SHEGETSTOGOIWISHYOUHADN’TGIVENAWAYMYPRESENTYOU’VERUINEDYOUR

REPUTATIONITISTOOLATEHE’SSUCHAJERKI’MBUSYGOAWAYTHEYDON’TLOVEME

ASMUCHASTHEYLOVEHIMITSALLYOURFAULTITISALLYOURFAULTIT

ISALLYOURFAULT.

People come over. What can I do? Just smile and act naturally. Act. Naturally. The stupidest thing anyone has ever been told to do.
The grayness of the sky is solid, swollen gray. All creation waits for the snow-laden clouds to explode…and it is so beautiful… but only to those who have a warm, crackling fire inside of them. Who have a friend to share it with.

So I wander. What did I do in those few minutes? Who can tell….they have been lost to eternity. Like so many other things I’ve let slip away…the only thing that promises to stay with me, no matter what, is the memory that I let those things slip away.

But I just looked out the window. And large, soft, puffy flakes are swirling down from the sky. They hit the ground gently, then melt…but prepare the dirty, grass-bare earth for another flake and another. Soon they stop melting. And the sky is white. Dirty impure snow is covered. The litter on the ground is covered. Harsh fence-posts and dead dream-flowers are hidden from the Eyes of Purest Heaven by the falling snow. And the world suddenly becomes brighter. It changes color entirely. The lowly earth can now reflect the Sky. And it is so beautiful. So very very beautiful. And it would seem that God is crying out, as He has done for so long, Come now, and let us reason together….though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool! Just come….now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The above was my story one gloomy day back in December. As soon as God put the verse mentioned above into my head, I sat down and wrote this out.

You know, and I know, that this isn’t just the story of one day in one person’s life–the guilt and the shame of sin, the longing to be reunited in fellowship with God, has come again and again and again.

And God says;

John 8:10-11 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

Isaiah 1:18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.

1 John 1:7-9 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The End.

“The End” seems to come at the, well, END of  just about every book and movie out there. And there’s nothing I like better than to see everything resolved before “The End” rolls around. No more misunderstandings, unanswered questions, hurt feelings or inner struggles.  Those things are ok at the beginning of a movie–just about necessary for there to actually be a story–but not at the end, in my opinion.

Wouldn’t it be nice if life was like that? Start every day off with a challenge of some sort, and end every night with the words “The End” splashed in yellow across our walls and accompanied by a triumphant fanfare of music?

But I guess we’ve all cried ourselves to sleep…or tried to. Maybe you couldn’t sleep. I know I’ve begun many days wishing the the previous day was some nightmare which dissipated with the morning light. You didn’t begin your day–your month– your education–your career–your marriage–your parenthood–right. I know–I’ve been there too.  And chances are, you’re on a path which isn’t going to make the end any better.

You want to know why? It’s been called the “Easier to” problem.

It’s easier to make a promise than to keep it.

It’s easier to know the truth than to live the truth.

It’s easier to indulge myself instead of having self-control.

It’s easier to surround yourself with friends who tell you what you want to hear than those who’ll tell you what you need to hear.

It’s easier to begin a race than to finish it.

It’s easier to stick your head in the sand than to face the truth.

It’s easier to stay down when you’re knocked down than it is to get up and keep going.

It’s easier (at least, temporarily) to continue on your sinful,self-centered, comfy, Hell-bound path than it is give up your sins and throw yourself on the mercy of the God who can and will  save you.

We don’t know when our “The End” is coming. The story has already started. There are enough problems to solve and twists to untwist for an epic saga. Neither you nor I can change the failures or untie the knots from the previous pages. I can’t take back my stupid explanations,  broken promises, or missed opportunities from even five minutes ago.

But I can resolve that the end will be better than the beginning.

Ecclesiastes 7:8 says that: The end of a thing is better than its beginning;
The patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.(NKJV)

It is your decision. The next page, the next chapter, can be infinitely better. I’m trying to share my heart with two entirely different groups….so, if you’re not a Christian, please keep on reading. If you are a Christian, go down past the squiggly line and pick up reading from there.

Perhaps you’re not a Christian. Maybe you’re just happy the way things are. You don’t have God, and you don’t see a need for Him either. Either you curse Him as a raging tyrant or you flippantly refer to Him as though He were some divine butler who can be called or dismissed as you see fit.

But God is who He is-a just, holy God who knows every detail of our lives. We have broken His laws. Have you every told a lie? What does that make you? Have you ever stolen anything, regardless of value? What do YOU call somebody who steals? Have you ever used God’s name as a curse? That’s called blasphemy….taking the precious name of God, who gave you life, and dragging it down to the level of a four-letter filth word. Listen to your conscience…..I’ve only mentioned three of the Ten Commandments! God must punish you for your sins–and that would be eternity in Hell!

But He loved us so much that He sent Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, to live a perfect life on earth and to die a horrible death, taking the punishment that we all deserved upon Himself! Three days later Jesus rose again. He can forgive your crimes against God if you repent of your sin and trust in Him and Him only to save you.

If your story doesn’t have Jesus’ forgiveness in it, then you’re already in the middle of a horrible mess, whether you realize it or not. Jesus isn’t going to fix all your problems and give you a fairy-tale life. But His wisdom, love, comfort, strength, Lordship and friendship will always be yours. And most importantly, the end is going to be a good end. Your eternity will be secure. All the self-helps, life improvements and better friends you can get won’t make a lick of difference if eternity in a fiery Hell is what is waiting for you once the end finally arrives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe you’re a Christian. And your failures are hounding you like ravenous dogs.  You’re just like me–made resolution after resolution and promise after promise to do better–and if you were lucky, it lasted a day. If that.

We can’t do this on our own. We don’t have the strength to live the way God wants us to on our own.  So get God’s help. Humble yourself.  Learn from your past mistakes…and let them go.

Don’t quit. Keep fighting.  Read your Bible, find out what God wants you to do, and make a resolution–a written one, if you can– which you will be held accountable to. Your past was bad. You knew to do better and you didn’t. Again.  God can make that next page a brighter, better one. God can give you the wisdom to untie some of those impossible knots.

Maybe you weren’t courageous today. Maybe you weren’t truthful. Or kind. Or obedient. Or wise. Look to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith, get up, and keep fighting. Resolve that your end will be better. The beginning….not so great. The middle is a mess. But from this minute forward (and that has to be your vow every minute) I will do better. In Christ’s strength, I will do better from this moment on.

The hours are ahead of you…let Christ turn you to a new sheet of paper, and begin again. “The End” will be here sooner than you think.

Vestri tripudium, vestri vita. Tripudium in Deus, sit vita.

Please do keep in mind that this essay is for a pro-life crowd. If you have any thoughts or comments, including those that may oppose this post, feel free to write. I look forward to hearing from you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you believe, that what you believe, is really real? Do you know that what you truly believe has an impact on your life?
If you walk into my house in a week or so, you will notice strange little lights and garlands adorning the walls. You will hear songs like What Child is This? playing on our sound system, and you will also hear us reading the Nativity story from the Gospels. What are we doing? Of course, you will probably guess that we are celebrating Christmas. And you would also know what we believe about Christmas from the way we are celebrating the day–because what we believe about something determines why and how we commemorate or celebrate it.
This is also true about life. As I look at America today, I see babies are being butchered before they even take first breath. Children are being lied to and abused. Millions of adults and teenagers are wasting their time and their lives with immoral and wasteful pursuits. Our elderly face a long, lonely stretch of life, and now the possibility of legalized mercy killings. And from this we realize America is celebrating a way that seems right to her people. She is celebrating advancement, wealth, and strength. She is celebrating her right to rule herself however she sees fit, and to do whatever it takes to keep her happy. America is celebrating man’s glory. But this celebration can’t afford the weak, the helpless and the incapable.
The important question is, what is the focus of your celebration? Is it your religion, your lifestyles, your determination of what is right and what is wrong? In that light…. how are you celebrating? If our reasons for being pro-life are purely to save babies and oppose murderous laws….then we too have the wrong reason for our celebration.
Ezekiel chapter twelve states that the whole duty of man is to fear God and to keep His commandments. Jesus said, in John chapter fourteen, I AM The Way, The Truth, and The Life. Jesus Christ is the giver of Life, and the One who defeated death. If Christ is the focus of our celebration, we will celebrate life…both now and eternally. If Christ is the focus of our celebration, we will fight against the glorification of death.
Jesus Christ is the Life.
So let me ask the question: Is Life the focus of your celebration?

Have mercy.

About a month ago, I happened to notice on the Yahoo! news page that there was an article about some wild animals roaming the streets in Ohio. I didn’t pay much mind to it…till, about a week later, my mother was reading the concluding article to that story. I sat with her, and the first thing I noticed were the large pictures posted with the article. A monkey, a leopard, and a bear stared out from separate cages, their eyes large, frightened and sad. This is what happened–

This man in Ohio had over 56 exotic animals…ranging from baboons to lions. He was in trouble with the government over taxes, and his neighbors didn’t like him much at all, especially since he’d been careless  in past years and had had a couple of animal escapees.

Neighbors called the police one day to report that animals were out….a lot of animals. When the police arrived at the man’s home, they found his body surrounded by some of his animals. He had committed suicide.

But now there were about 56 animals on the loose, many of them dangerous carnivores. To avoid the risk of losing tranquilized animals in the woods, or the risk of people being hurt, the sheriff’s department went out with high powered rifles and killed nearly every single animal.  There was a picture (which I wished afterward that I had not seen) of rows of tigers, bears, wolves…..all lined up on the ground, dead.  If I recall correctly, the man had over a dozen rare Bengal tigers and nearly that many lions, male and female. Now all that was left of the man’s menagerie had been sent to the zoo—two monkeys, three leopards, and a bear.

Understand, I am not a green earth person, or a member of the PETA. I do believe that mankind has been given the authority to care for God’s creation–in a responsible way.

But my blood was boiling. I was SO angry. All those rare tigers! All those beautiful creatures…..wasted! Massacred! They must have been so frightened, so confused and uncertain after their owner let them out of their cages. What kind of a cold-hearted beast would have done that to innocent animals? Didn’t he THINK? Didn’t he care that the police were going to have kill nearly all of them? I was furious.  My eyes were stinging with tears and I called that horrible owner about a dozen horrible names as I made my way to my father, to report the gruesome facts to him. He loved animals–and especially big cats–just as much as I did.

I related the story, not leaving out my opinions of the man, and waited for my father’s response. It was completely unexpected.

“Poor man. Dying all alone, like that. Trouble with the government, neighbors….must have driven him to it.”

I was stunned. And all of a sudden, like a light starting to come on, I thought about the man.  The human life. The lonely soul. What had driven him to commit suicide?

Was there anyone who cared about him? Did he have any good friends? Did anyone ever care to tell him how Jesus loved him and died for him…that there was still hope?  Would one encouragement have made a difference? Is he now dead…and perhaps in Hell… for want of one kindly word?

As I left my father’s room, all my anger was gone. Instead was a horrible, horrible sadness for the destruction of one precious human life made in the image of God.

There is so much power in the human tongue. The Bible says that in the tongue is the power of death and life. The tongue is untamed, set on fire of hell, and as destructive as a raging wildfire. On the other hand, Jesus said that His words were spirit and life.  God has given us our tongues and the ability to speak. May we never be so selfish as to remain silent to the needs of others–others who are hurting, or discouraged, or lost,  or sad, or desperate,  or hopeless, or unable to speak for themselves. Have mercy on them…and remember, just one word could make a difference. All the difference in the world.

Soldier’s Heart

Soldier’s Heart
This heart stands alone when none else will stand.
Sacrifices for virtue that upheld the land.
Knows the joy of triumph, the pain of defeat…
But the death found inside of a dastard’s retreat?

No— This heart, though emotions may storm and tempest,
Sees duty, and wills all inner storms to rest.
Can the mockers, the critics, cowards, and the low
Move the heart which is anchored in the truth that it knows?

No— Their words, their scorns, their lies of folklore
Cannot reach the heights at which eagles soar.
Neither can empty joys, spiritless life full of ease
Tempt away from the prize that this heart longs to seize.

Brave hearts endure the pain, and press on through the tears
Have faith amidst the mayhem, and overcome all fears.
Slay that which holds back from dreams, destroy those sins which sever
From the calling which gives hearts life— their Strength and Hope forever.

To whom then shall go this champion’s heart— that of a hero, a battler?
Only those who bear on their souls this one name—
SOLDIER.

2 Timothy 2:1-4
Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.
 And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.
 Thou therefore endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ.
 No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier.

( By speckledlamb1993  2011Copyright.)

The Shepherd’s Fold

I love sheep. Sure, we’ve all heard that they’re stinky and stupid…but I still love sheep. As of right now, I own three sheep of my own–Oreo (my ram) Pansy (my ewe) and Adannaya, Pansy’s little lambkin! I hope to have pictures of them up soon.
But I named this blog the Shepherd’s fold for reasons other than my love of sheep. Jesus often compared His relationship with us to that of a loving Shepherd with His sheep. Jesus said in John 10:14-16; I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep.
And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.
A fold–a true shepherd’s fold–is a safe, secure place where sheep can gather and rest. My prayer is that God will make this blog a safe place for His sheep to be encouraged, exhorted, inspired, and refreshed.
I also hope that He will use this site to reach others who are not yet “of this fold.” Therefore, I am inviting everybody (that includes YOU!) to check out this blog–no matter what your beliefs are. I welcome your comments, and hope to get to know you better!